Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
