i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize