Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This is classic penis vs brain.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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