I skipped work to stalk him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
