Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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