they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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