I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
