Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
