I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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