Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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