Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
