Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
