READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
