I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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