me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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