chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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