I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
