I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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