I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
