that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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