Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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