i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm both gender and math confused
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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