the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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