I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
