i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
