Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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