I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
