The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
