I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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