Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
