woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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