We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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