My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
