I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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