Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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