Small penises have feelings too.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
