I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
