there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
