I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
