No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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