My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
