Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
