I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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