so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
