Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
