I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
