So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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