Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
