Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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