So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
