I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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