Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
