Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
