i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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