So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i drank out of a bidet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
