The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just want nice things and good sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
