The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
