college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
