Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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