i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
