Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
