soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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