Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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