I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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