I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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