I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
