I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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