i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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