Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize