At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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