: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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