it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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